It is the new year and like everyone else I am compiling my “to-do” list for the year.  There is the usual set of stuff on there plus some other random things that are important to me that I want to get done this year.  But the biggest change for me is I am now working a different kind of list which I call my “not-do” list.

For me there are three central buckets to what is important in my life and makes me feel that my life is being fulfilled: professional development, personal development and family.  Professionally I need to feel that I am growing and moving and expanding my horizons and contributing to society; personally I have lots of interests and personal growth goals that I want to achieve and I want to spend as much time with my family as possible.  While the proportions of where time gets allocated over the years changes (like when I had kids), I know I have to have all three.

I recently turned 35, which by no means is old, but it is old enough for me to come to the realization that I just am not going to get to do all the things I want to in this life.  Frankly, it sucks.  I sort of always knew this was true, but age has a way of clarifying what you already know.  So how do I get the things that really matter to me done?  Focus.

I have started a new on going list of things that I am just not going to do.  Some I am crossing of my list in perpetuity– that’s right, I am *never* going to do them (like learn conversational French).  Some I am just removing for this year but will revisit in future years (run another marathon).  I am keeping these as ongoing lists, but once it is on the never do list, it is on.  I suppose in 5-10 years I could revisit it, but I won’t think about anything on there until then.

My belief is that all the goals and things I want to get done compete not only for time but for mental and emotional energy.  By removing stuff from my list I hope I will free up time to focus on the goals that really matter to me and also free myself of some of the emotional and mental baggage that comes from keeping those unfulfilled items in my head.  I know that if I don’t do this, I will never be able to do the things that really matter– or not to the level I want to.